Am I The Only On That Ships It?
by AllTheBestAreTaken
Summary: In which Carlton Lassiter is in love but doesn't know it. Shawn takes it upon himself to solve the case of the mysterious crush. When he finally figures it out, no one believes him. Is he the only one that ships it? My first fanfic! Be kind! No beta. (Hint:This is slash! Don't like, don't read!)
1. Prologue:The Mystery

**Okay, so it would seem that I have found a pairing I ship that either no one else does, or no one has had the inspiration to write about. Keep in mind that I have only seen the first and second seasons of ****_Psych_****. Don't knock it until you have thought about it.**

* * *

Detective Carlton Lassiter would always say it had begun when the psycho psychic Shawn Spencer had turned up. The detective had been sure, so sure, that he was willing to bet his badge that the nuisance had been the perp they needed to arrest. But, that damned Spencer had managed to convince everyone of his abilities. Carlton was no fool. He saw the truth. That is why when Spencer had the gall to corner him after that first case, the detective had had none of it.

"Lassie-face! Watcha running off to do?"

"Nothing, Spencer. Leave me alone."

"Aww... I know you're upset about that lady-friend partner of yours leaving, but you know-"

At that point Lassiter threw Spencer into the wall right outside the door to the precinct. The man's lined face was inches from the psychic's.

"I said, 'Leave me alone.'"

The older man pulled off and walked away, but the younger remained locked in position. Watching the salt-and-pepper haired man's back, the sleuth made a series of deductions that would have even made the spirits impressed.

1- Carlton Lassiter had broken off the relationship with his old partner.

2- Carlton Lassiter was in love with-or at least had a crush on-someone on the force.

3- Carlton Lassiter had no idea.

Shawn decided that he had just found a new case. No matter how long it took, he would find out who it was. The pseudo psychic's face lit up in a smile. This was going to be very fun.


	2. McNab and Lassiter

**YAY! I hope to keep updating regularly through Christmas break, and then every weekend when school starts, if this story progresses for that long. I know where I want to end but how I get there and how quickly is all up to the characters to decide. Anyway... You will find out who my ****_Psych_**** OTP is in this chapter. Like I said before, I have only seen seasons one and two, so I have no idea about canon relationships for these two characters. *No spoilers, please* And also, I know he is getting married. I am ignoring that for the sake of the fact that this is my first fanfic and I DON'T CARE about staying canon at this point. Also-I promise this is the last thing-this will be my last author's note. YAY, YOU!**

* * *

Buzz McNab was the rookie cop. Even when a greener policeman then he came in, it was always Buzz that got the rookie treatment. One detective in particular gave him a very rough time. That detective happened to be Carlton Lassiter. Buzz would never say anything, he WAS the Head Detective. It also did not help that whenever the man was around and got all bossy-

But that was neither here nor there. The poor uniform never let his thoughts venture too far down that road. The Head Detective had been particularly feral the past few months since his old partner had left. It had been a God-send when the new detective, Juliet O'Hara, had been assigned to the man. Buzz could practically feel the oppression lift off his shoulders. Lassiter's attention was elsewhere engaged.

All good things come to an end, however. The peace had seemed so short.

McNab had put in the call for some detectives to be sent to the scene. Not long after Lassiter and O'Hara arrived, the Psychic Detective Shawn Spencer showed himself. His partner Gus was hot on his heels. The way Lassiter's all business attitude changed to one of pure hatred and annoyance was enough to make anyone's head spin. Even the McNab, who was not as dull as most thought, could see the change in outlook. The police officer knew what was coming.

"McNab! Get me some coffee!"

And so he did. McNab had the other officer's coffee order memorized and as ready as his own. Black coffee, three creams, and four sugars. At first, the uniform had tried to cut down on the sweetness, but the detective could always tell. McNab's mother had always said that you could tell a lot about a man from his coffee order. McNab himself always had hot chocolate. He hated coffee.

* * *

Another day, at another crime scene, the officer was about to head off to get the detective's coffee ready. He had been about to take the long journey to the coffee shop when a certain psychic made an appearance.

"McNab! Nabby!"

"Shawn, my man!"

"What have we got here?"

"Looks like suicide. A guy from the phone company found the victim in his apartment. Been up there for a few days already."

"Few days? You mind if we head up? Take a look. Poke around a little?"

"Oh, I don't know. Lassiter's up there and he's in a mood."

"Yeah, we just, uh, got his coffee. Wanted to bring it by, make it right."

"Oh, that's nice of you. He asked me to get it, but this is perfect."

The very grateful man turned back to the street, but just then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something that gave him reason to pause. He really could not believe his eyes.

"Hey, did you just sip that?"

The psychic responded in a confused tone, "You don't taste Lassiter's coffee before you give it to him? That surprises me, Buzz. He's so particular. No cream, no sugar…"

"It's three creams, four sugars," McNab interjected, perplexed.

"Yeah, it is."

_Oh, _thought the policeman. _He was just testing me. Funny guy. _The officer chuckled. At least he would not have to brave the wrath of the irritated head detective to give him his coffee. Buzz leaned against the apartment complex's doorframe and prepared himself for a long, boring watch. Someone had to make sure that no one that was not supposed to be in the building got in. Honestly, it had been the most important job given to McNab in a long while. That was saying something. About an hour later, the officer was startled out of a day dream by a very pissed looking head detective.

"McNab! What the HELL are you doing? Are you just gazing off into your own personal La-La Land of incompetency? Not only did you not bring me my coffee, you let that idiot Spencer up to the crime scene without any clearance from me! Now he is on MY case! Do you understand!"

The uniform had no chance to respond.

"Of COURSE you don't! You wouldn't know the Book if it bit you in the ass. Mark my words, I'll see you on desk duty for a month!"

McNab was aghast. His poor head was reeling from the sudden and scathing calling out. That and the fact that Lassiter had gotten way too far into the officer's personal space for rational thought to occur. The detective's new partner walked up to Buzz.

"Hey, McNab. A word?"

"Sure."

O'Hara looked up at him with kind eyes, "Don't blame him. Shawn gets under his skin like nobody else. I guess he has to vent his anger somewhere. Maybe you should stand up for yourself a little more. I have a feeling that he really is a softie under all that by-the-Book nonsense. Except I love the Book. I mean-not like LOVE it but you know-oh, whatever. Just make sure Shawn is hired before he gets near a crime scene next time. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll try. I just don't get him."

"Oh, Shawn is a crazy one. The way he just struts around and waves his arms; his tanned, smooth arms..."

Buzz looked into the female detective's glazed eyes, "I meant Detective Lassiter."

"Oh, yeah, him too," she said quickly, blushing. "He really is a piece of work, but I'll see about working on him. Anyway, just think about what I said. A little backbone goes a long way."

"I will, Detective O'Hara."

"Juliet, please. Lassiter is the only one who calls me O'Hara."

"Alright, Juliet. I'm Buzz."

"Cool nickname! Is it because of a haircut or something?"

"No... That's actually my name. Buzz McNab."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I just... Oh, sorry-"

"It's fine. I get that a lot."

"Well, Carlton is waiting on me. Bye!"

The uniform waved at the retreating figure as O'Hara-no-JULIET climbed into Lassiter's car. The head detective was already in the driver's seat and gunned the gas before the passenger had even closed her door. It was only as he watched the unmarked car disappear around the corner that a question came to his mind.

_Who the hell was Carlton?_


	3. Revelations and Disbelief

"Shawn, why is there a cat in my front seat?"

"Because my feline friend here gets carsick in the backseat."

"He better not throw up in the seat! This is a company car, Shawn."

"Oh, relax. He's fine. We'll be at the scene of the crime in just a minute."

"Another one? I told you. We. Have. No. Case."

"Gus, I totally see where Lassiter is coming from. A series of suicides. It all seems so _Sherlock_."

"So what?"

"Nothing! Oh, look! Crime scene tape! I love how they put that stuff up everywhere. It just says, 'Hi! I'm a crime scene!'"

"I'm pretty sure it's supposed to do that, Shawn."

The duo approached to see a very exasperated O'Hara talking to an uniformed officer.

"Sup, Jules? Where's Lassie-face?"

"Oh, hey, Shawn! Getting coffee. He didn't get it this morning so he took all his frustration out on McNab. I told him he had to get his caffeine fix before he did some lasting psychological damage to somebody. He's been in a mood for the past few days. I would watch my step around him if I were you."

Shawn tucked this little tid bit of knowledge into his endless memory and began to examine the body of the young woman in her car. The apparent suicide note was written in make-up of some sort and there was dry-cleaning in the back seat. Shawn was still soaking up details when the groan of a certain Head Detective could be heard from outside the garage.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Lassiter was trying to dab off the worse of a terrible coffee stain on his shirt. Gus sucked in air through his teeth. At least the salesman knew the cost of getting a stain like that removed. When the detective looked up, his eyes immediately made contact with the psychic. "You!"

"Me!" Shawn yelled, smiling.

"Did you let him into this crime scene, O'Hara?" the detective asked accusingly.

"You were not here, and I thought we could use Shawn's insight."

"Insight! O'Hara, the man is holding a dead man's cat!"

Shawn looked down at the feline in his arms. He had almost forgotten about the poor guy. With a sudden "psychic" spasm, Shawn dropped the witness into the open back window of the latest victim's car.

"Spencer! What are you doing? You are compromising my crime scene!" Lassiter could not even fathom the odd behavior of the psychic at the best of times.

"I sense that my witness will be able to tell us crucial information about the crime."

"And how do you know that?"

"The same way I know you take coffee with three creams and four sugars."

"Wha- Wait! Who told you that?"

"Really, Carlton," Juliet interjected, "three creams and four sugars?"

The cat promptly began to pee all over the evidence in the backseat. Making a speedy deduction and a hasty retreat, Shawn began to walk towards where his partner was waiting by the car, chatting with a lady officer. Shawn chuckled. Oh, Gus. He did find the quinky ones. Before he made it all the way to his friend, however, he spotted the glum figure of a certain, extraordinarily tall policeman.

"Buzz!" Shawn greeted. He was met by tired eyes.

"Hi, Shawn."

"I just wanted to see what was bothering you, man. You seemed so glum."

"Lassiter told the chief that I needed to be 'taught a lesson in competence'. He wanted me on desk duty for a month. I'm lucky the chief was so understanding. She just gave me tomorrow off, told Lassiter it was a suspension, and put my on the desk for the rest of the week."

"Aw, I'm sorry. Did it have to do with the coffee thing. I am sorry. He really chewed you out."

"Yeah. He has really been stressing me out. I thought you just went up to bring his coffee?"

"I did, but you know how I am with my visions and whatever. Hey, do you know why Lassie is so irritated? Is he, let's say, having lady problems?"

"How would I know?"

"Guy problems?"

"Huh?"

"A colonoscopy exam?"

"Uh-"

"Well, I guess I'll just figure it out myself. Thanks. Bye!"

Shawn left the officer reeling much like the Head Detective had earlier. The psychic made way to his best friend's car and began to contemplate. He made sure that the cat was comfortable and took off, only just remembering to go back for Gus. The amateur detective's thoughts trailed from the current case to his personal one. Was it a special someone that Lassie was frustrated with? Or was it something else? Shawn just hoped it was the former, because then it would mean that he could close in that much closer on Lassiter's crush.

* * *

Gus was just at the top of the telephone pole when Shawn had a sudden revelation.

"Gus, what was the last number dialed?" He yelled, dread filling the pit of his stomach.

"Shawn! Oh my gosh! It's McNab! McNab is the next victim!"

Already running towards the small blue car, Shawn pulled out his cellphone and called the only detective's number he had.

"Juliet!"

"Shawn, what's wrong?"

"I had a vision of the next victim! It's McNab! You guys need to get over to his house now!"

* * *

"Carlton, that was Shawn. He says Buzz is the next victim!"

"Who?"

"McNab!"

Lassiter lept up from his desk and was out the door before his partner had even had time to register. He fumbled with the car keys but managed to get into the driver's seat in record time. O'Hara had just gotten the passenger door closed when sped off. The look of worry on his face was foreign, but Juliet was too busy worrying herself to notice. She called in on the scanner and soon a line of police cars were blaring their sirens behind them.

* * *

"Put the gun down! I will DROP you!" Lassiter's heart was racing as he saw the revolver trained on McNab. Spencer and his partner were already at the scene in the process of talking Wes Hiltonbock down. Spencer had only spared him a momentary glance, but the detective had felt as though he was being dissected in that moment. The entire episode went sown in the usual, insane fashion, ending with the surprise intervention of a little boy cat. Even though he had not been the one to actually disarm the perp, Lassiter had been the one to cuff him and drag his butt to the precinct. The Head Detective tried to ignore the way his chest was still heaving twenty minutes after the episode.

"Hey, Lassie-face!" Carlton cursed the stars. Spencer.

"What do you want?" the detective asked through gritted teeth. O'Hara was sitting at her desk not four feet away, so he had to at least pretend to be civil.

"I just wanted to congratulate you. You tackled that guy like it was nobody's business. Well, maybe somebody's business. Police business. Police business on a murderer. Like butter on bread. Like-"

"What? You are making less sense than usual, Spencer."

The psychic rolled an empty swivel chair out from under a nearby desk and plopped himself down in it backwards, spinning it so he faced the detective over the backrest.

"You really looked like you wanted to kill that guy. I mean, you are kind of quick to pull your gun, I know that from experience, but I sensed you were truly ready to, as you put it, 'drop' that guy."

"He was threatening a fellow officer. If it hadn't been me, it would have been O'Hara or any of the other cops. You wouldn't understand. It's a cop thing, all about duty to the badge. You don't even know what duty is."

"Isn't that a band?"

Lassiter face-palmed and groaned into his hand.

"You just seemed especially worried. Like SPECIALLY worried. About McNab."

"Why am I even talking to you, Spencer? I have reports to file."

"I am sensing a deep-"

The Head Detective stood from his desk and left, his face red from annoyance. Spencer really knew how to get his goat. Lassiter did not know why he let that psychic get under his skin so much. He was just asking about his duty to his fellow officers. He would kill for any one of his brothers and sisters of the law. Well, not EVERY one. Well, maybe a few. Well...

Carlton tried to clear his head. Why had he gotten so worked up over this incident? The detective had realized he had been in a mood all case long. He just couldn't place the reason. There would just be times when his heart rate would go up and his stomach would tighten. If he was a high school aged girl he would almost call that feeling-

No. Lassiter scoffed. He just needed to call his soon-to-be ex-wife again and talk to her. He clearly had been alone too long. That explained the irritation, but what about the scene with the perp earlier? He had felt like his adrenaline had started pumping full blast when he heard that McNab was in danger. McNab in danger. That thought sent a new wave of nausea through Lassiter's body. As he pulled into the driveway of his house, he rested his head against the wheel.

Oh, this was not good.

* * *

Shawn rolled his chair over to O'Hara's desk.

"Hey, Jules."

"Hi, Shawn. I really can't talk right now. With you chasing Carlton off like that, I have to write the rest of this report."

"I'm sorry about that Juliet. But, I have something way more important than report to talk to you about."

"What?"

"I had a vision, well, more of a feeling of an aura on the spiritual plain, but you get my drift. I feel that the reason Lassie has been in such a mood is because he has a crush!"

"Shawn, Lassiter does not get 'crushes'. He's a fortyish year old man. Besides, Carlton doesn't let personal things get in the way of the job."

"But what if the personal problem WAS the job? I sense that Lassie has a crush on someone on the force."

"Shawn..."

The psychic took up his routine pose, "I'm seeing him now."

"Him?" Shawn put his finger to Juliet's lips to silence her.

"I can see his aura clearly now. I only no one person with an aura like that. It's-It's-AH- McNab! Lassie-face has a schoolgirl crush on Buzz McNab!"

Juliet burst out laughing. In fact, she began laughing so hard that all of the few remaining officers in the precinct looked at her as if she was a loon. Tears were coming from her eyes.

"Shawn, I know I have not been Lassiter's partner for very long, but that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Not only has Carlton been married to a WOMAN, but Buzz? Really? Lassiter is so mean to that guy!"

"That's what I mean! Lassie doesn't know how to express his feelings so he just vents them in anger! It's so typical!"

"You know what, I think I'll just stay late tomorrow to finish these reports. I'm going to go home and sleep. You, I think you need to get you 'psychic satellite dish' tuned up. McNab and Lassiter, HA!"

Shawn watched the giggling detective get up and walk towards the doors of the precinct.

"IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!" He yelled, but the doors had already closed behind her. Shawn spun the chair slowly, thinking. _Was it really that ridiculous__? _He thought. The psychic had seen all the signs. He couldn't be wrong, could he? No, he had seen the look in Lassiter's eyes when the man had seen the revolver pointed at McNab. That hadn't been worry for a colleague. That had been FEAR. Shawn stood up and walked out to his motorcycle. There had to be a way to make the two men realize what was between them, and thereby everyone else.

Gus would no what to do. It was like all those crazy soap operas he watches. Maybe his pop culture wisdom would come in handy. But, he didn't seem to be a relationship guru. Plus, both the partners were straight. (Ironically) Hmm... Well, Shawn would at least give his friend a try at this problem. HE would at least see what Shawn was talking about.


	4. Marry, Shag (?), Throw Off A Cliff

**Warning for slight OOC-ness**

* * *

"Oh, HA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gus was bent over in his chair, arm propping himself up on the desk for support. His laughter filled the Psych office. In fact, a few passers by stopped and peered into the window curiously. Shawn had just told Gus his theory.

"Gus? What's so funny? It is not THAT ridiculous!"

"Oh, it is, Shawn, it is. Lassiter and McNab. HA!"

"Am I really the only one that ships it?"

"What?"

"Am I the only one that ships it?"

"Ship?"

"Yeah, Gus. Ship."

"What so you mean, Shawn?"

"Like ship! I found the term online. It is used in this thing called fan fiction. It is when you want to people who belong together to be together or something like that."

"Fanfiction? Really? Are you a teenage girl?"

"Not last time I checked, but that is beside the point. Lassiter has a crush on McNab, and I need to get those two together if it kills me."

"Okay, Shawn. I'll humor you. Let's say your crazy theory is right. You supposedly know that Lassiter likes McNab. Do you know if McNab likes Lassiter?"

The psychic began pacing the office, "He has to! A strong Irish hairline like that!"

"Shawn, initial attraction is physical, yes, but there has to be something more for a relationship to happen. But, do you even know if McNab is, uh, attracted to Lassiter. Ugh, I never thought I would say those words. 'Attracted to Lassiter'. It feels like walking over my own grave."

"I know, but everyone deserves love. And, no, I do not know about McNab yet. But I just have this gut feeling about this. McNab feels the same way. I just know it."

"Well, Shawn, go out and prove your gut, then go from there. Just don't make a fool of- never mind. Already crossed that line. I just can't help but think that these guys, especially Lassiter, would want you meddling in their business. Lassiter is likely to shoot you."

"But if all goes well, he'll be with the love of his life all thanks to this meddling kid!"

"Whatever, Shawn. Forget my advice. Take your outdated cartoon references and go. I want no ties to this."

"Too late. You're in this as deep as I am now!"

"Shawn..."

"Come, Guster! To the bat mobile!"

With that, Shawn spun on his heels and fled the office. His partner followed behind him reluctantly. Someone had to make sure the idiot did not get himself arrested.

* * *

Buzz sat at his desk. The report in front of him had been resting there for awhile now, gathering dust. The officer was fiddling with a pen, rolling it across his desk in boredom. Desk duty was the absolute worst.

The only thing that made it bearable (or unbearable, it just depends on the moment) was the fact that the uniform's desk had a perfect view of a certain Head Detective's. Apparently Spencer had driven Lassiter away from the reports last night, because the detective had been told that he could not go anywhere until they were done. McNab's were much less pressing, so he had time to daydream.

The officer liked watching Lassiter work. He liked how the older man bent over his desk slightly. He like how the detective always wrote with neat efficiency and a touch of urgency. He like how, like now, when the other man was concentrating, his eyebrows came together just so. All those tiny little details made McNab's skin crawl. It almost felt like-

No. No. Hell no. No. That was silly. But- Poor Buzz had let his thoughts wander down a very uncomfortable path. AGAIN. Suddenly the man was very thankful for his desk.

* * *

"Chief, there has got to be something interesting to work on!"

"I'm sorry, Spencer. With the wrap-up of those suicide homicides, we've hit a slow point. You should be happy. It means there is not much crime right now. Don't you take private clients?"

"Yeah, but no one has been coming in."

"Well, sorry. No can do. I don't have any cases for you."

Shawn began to pout like a two year old about to go on a tantrum. Gus smiled and thanked the chief, then began to pull his friend out of the office.

"Gus, I cannot believe that there isn't a case. How am I supposed to observe Lassie without him noticing now?"

"You could just drop it like I said to, Shawn."

"I just can't! It's my duty!"

"Isn't that a band?"

"Oh, look! Buzz!"

The psychic skipped around the various desks to the young officer. Shawn performed a move he had perfected the previous night, the swivel-chair-sit-down-thingy. The young man made a note in his head to think of a cooler name for it later. Gus just walked behind, looking very embarrassed by his partners antics. The salesman also worried for the officer to whom Shawn was addressing.

"Buzz! How's the desk treating you?" McNab started and looked at Shawn. The man had a red tint to his cheeks and seemed very uncomfortable. Gus didn't notice this, however, the pseudo psychic did. "I'm feeling boredom, restlessness, and... I can't seem to place it. It's your aura. It just seems to, I dunno, shine today. There's only a few things that cause that. Extreme anger, depression, self loathing, listening to 1D, ATTRACTION-"

"I'm not any of those things, Shawn. I really have to get back to my reports," now even Guster could see the uncomfortable shift that Buzz did in his seat. The partner lifted his eyebrow at Shawn, silently communicating. The other man was too busy thinking of a more subtle way of outing (_haha, OUTING, _Shawn thought) the desk imprisoned uniform.

"Hey, Gus, remember that game we always played as teenagers?"

"No."

"Ah, come on! Oh, maybe I just heard about it. Well, Buzz, how about a game to take your mind off things for a few minutes We can play right here and no one would be the wiser."

McNab did want something to take his mind of his Head Detective, but he was not certain that playing any game, even I Spy, with Spencer was a good idea. He remembered the Spin-the-Bottle game at O'Hara's welcome party. He had been lucky enough to not be a participant, but he had heard the horror stories. Apparently Officer Heeley and Detective Louse are expecting a baby girl come Spring.

"I think I'll pass. Thanks, though."

"Buzz!" Shawn pulled out his best pout. McNab ignored him with all his strength. In an attempt not to look at the face of the psychic, which was edging steadily closer to make the pout more effective, the officer looked around the room. Big mistake. Lassiter was looking up from his desk to the one clock in the precinct, which was just visible down the hall over McNab's head. It looked as though those bright blue eyes were staring right at the uniform. Buzz's stomach dropped to his knees and suddenly he was very thankful for his desk. AGAIN.

"What's the game?"

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Gus asked. He flinched as if he had been kicked and quickly limped to sit on the desk that Shawn had pulled his chair from.

"Sure he's sure! Okay, the games called marry, shag, throw off a cliff."

McNab was confused, "I have heard of something like that, but was is 'shag'?"

"It is the common, or slang, European term for having sex with someone," Gus readily supplied.

"Really, Gus. Off the top of your head. Have you been watching Torchwood again?"

"Anyone can look something like that up on the internet, Shawn!"

"Whatever."

"Why did you use that word anyway, Spencer?" McNab asked.

"Oh, I just heard about the game that way first. Anyway, rule is that Gus and I get to say the name of anyone in the room at the moment, and you have to tell us if you would marry them, shag them, or throw them off a cliff."

"I'm not sure I want to play. It is rather personal."

"Oh, come on!"

"Shawn, he doesn't have to. Maybe you should stop being nosy."

"Please, Buzz? Please? I can feel it in your aura, you want to!"

"FINE."

"Yippee!"

Shawn got up from his chair and began whispering with Gus. He managed to convince his partner to play along. He was sure if he could just get Buzz off his guard, he would have the proof that Gus needs to believe in the ship. The officer began to have a growing sense of apprehension, and he looked around to see if anyone had noticed the scene. No one had. Most of the other officers were busy with their own reports, or just busy looking bored out of their minds.

"Okay, we'll start off slow and get faster. Gus and I will tag team. Ready?"

"I guess..."

"JULIET?"

"Marry."

"CHIEF?"

"Marry."

"LOUSE?"

"Cliff."

"HEELEY?"

"Cliff?"

"THAT CREEPY GUY THAT BRINGS DONUTS?"

"Marry."

"Lassiter?"

"Shag."

"Ohhh..."

McNab covered his mouth, eyes darting all around them. Everyone was still working, not having paid an attention to the psychic duo's whisper-yells. Shawn was grinning like a loon as Buzz turned beet red. Gus was standing with his jaw just slightly agape. The pseudo psychic began bouncing on his heels in glee.

"You set me up!"

"Yes, I did! Now I know you and Lassie over there like each other!"

"What?"

"You two like each other! Gosh, it's kind of gross. How old is Lassie, like fifty."

"thirty-eight."

"Gus, really. Just off the top of your head?"

"It is on the calendar in the reception area!"

"Fine, whatever. Now you have your proof, so we can start working on out new case. Well, you can join on my old case. Your new one."

Dread began to fill the young policeman's gut, "What case? You're not going to tell anyone? Please, you just can't!" The officer was begging. He couldn't even imagine the embarrassment. If Lassiter ever knew... McNab had heard Shawn when he said his attraction to the Head Detective was reciprocated, but he just could not believe it.

"No, we won't tell anyone, that's up to you. Our case is Operation Love-Muffin."

"Really, Shawn, Love-Muffin. You need to consult me before you go off naming our cases."

"WELL, if SOMEONE hadn't been so reluctant to join my crusade, he might have gotten a say."

"You had no-"

"Guys!" interrupted McNab. "Operation what?"

"Love-Muffin. We are going to get you and Lassie-face over there together if it kills us."

"Uh, I'm not ready of that kind of commitment, Shawn."

Buzz looked around again, astounded at the fact that no one was paying this conversation any mind. They were all oblivious to the young officer's mounting panic. Shawn and Gus on a case trying to set him up with his totally out of reach crush. It was a nightmare.

"Guys, just leave it be! Now go, I need to fill out these reports. Just leave it."

"Don't worry, man. We'll get you all sorted. Just leave it to us."

With that, Shawn left, followed by a very apologetic looking Gus. McNab just held his face in his hands. This was not good at all. So not good. Buzz peeked between his fingers at the Head Detective. The other man must have been bored as well, because he was looking at the clock again. He jerked his head back to his desk and began to write once more. He reached for his coffee, the exact coffee that McNab had brought him earlier that morning. He tilted his head back to get the last few drops out, then licked his lips as he set the cup down.

Buzz McNab really loved his desk.

* * *

**Sorry, but I just thought I should note. Last time I did the math, Timothy Omundson was 44. I checked the air date for "9 Lives", so I believe that he was thirty eight when the episode took place. Whatever. What do you care? Meaningless details...**


	5. Kiss and-and-uh-what?

**I do have to make a note- I have decided that this story will remain T, not go up to M. There is drunkenness, minor cursing, and m/m kissing in this chapter. Slurred speech is written without spaces. (Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes. If I want to get this up today, I don't have time for detailed proofreading.)**

* * *

Shawn watched Lassiter from across the street. He was eating with O'Hara, discussing a case they were working on. The psychic had seen the file and already had the case solved, but no one else had noticed the dirt under the victim's fingernails. Yet. It was one of those few cases Shawn decided to let the police handle, since he knew they would get it eventually. And besides, it gave him a chance to spy on a certain Head Detective. The fact that Juliet was also there was just a bonus.

Spencer was reading the conversation from the driver's seat of Gus' car, which he had stolen from the pharmaceutical company's garage. The psychic had learned to read lips when he did a stint as an interpreter for the deaf. That had not turned out well, as could be expected.

"I just don't get it? Why would a champion barrel racer drop out of the competition three weeks before and then show up dead just four days before the tournament began? It makes no sense. O'Hara?"

"Hmm...?" Juliet was looking out into the distance and thinking, but not about the case.

"Have you been listening to anything I have been saying?"

"Yeah, yes, uh, horses... racing... murder..."

"What has you so distracted? I need my partner to be UNdistracted when we are in the field."

"First of all, we are not in the field at the moment, we are eating lunch. Second, that is really funny to hear from the man that was Mr. Crabby-Pants during that case two weeks ago.

"Don't you get started on those nicknames, too, O'Hara. I-"

"You know, you have been a little off since right before that case. You know, Shawn talked to me and at the time I just wrote him off as ridiculous, but now I'm not so sure."

'What did he tell you?" Shawn could see Lassiter grow visibly uncomfortable, almost worried. The psychic wondered if Juliet really did believe him.

"He said that your aura or something was having love problems. Is this true? I have the feeling most of what he said was nonsense, but if you need someone to talk to... That's what partners are for.

"I do not need to talk. I am fine. No problems."

"Not even with your wife or-"

"Nope. The divorce is going swimmingly. Not that it is any of your business. Can we get back to the case?"

"Fine, Carlton. I believe you."

Lassie let out a relieved sigh while Shawn cursed from his stake out position. The psychic had been so sure that Jules was on his side. He smiled. Well this meant that he had to convince her now. His smile grew.

Shawn Spencer had a plan.

* * *

"The plan is stupid, Shawn."

"Gus! How many times have you said that before? And how many times have you been wrong?"

"Four hundred and ninety three, and twenty two."

"Really? Off the top of your head? Anyways, it is not stupid. It's actually quite ingenious."

"Oh, yeah. Whatever, Shawn. If this all goes to hell, don't drag me down with you."

"I'm sure you're bouyant enough for the both of us..."

"You flunked physics, and now I can see why."

* * *

"Hey, Jules!" Shawn met Juliet in the main hallway of the precinct.

"Hey, Shawn. I was just heading over to drop these off to Carlton. Want to walk and talk?"

"Actually, no. This kind of has to do with Lassie."

"Oh, no, Shawn. Not the crazy thing about him and-"

"Hey! It's true! I felt it. I have a plan to make you believe me. It is Chief Vicks' birthday next week, and I want you to throw her a little party. I know you love planning parties. At said party I plan on getting a certain detective shit-faced drunk. I expect that with no inhibitions on his part, you'll see Lassie in a new light."

"You know what? I'll go with it, just this once. It would be nice to have a birthday party for the SBPD matriarch. And Lassiter has been rather stressed and uptight this past month and a party will do him good. Besides, with the Chief back from having her baby, I suspect she would love a party with a little alcohol. Let me plan everything, though. Don't get carried away with this. God, I am SO going to regret this."

Spencer skipped away like a spoiled child, cementing the feeling of dread already pooling in the young detective's stomach. What had she just gotten herself into? Did she really just- SCHEME? O'Hara felt just a tiny bit dirty, and just a tiny bit more hardcore. It wasn't all bad. She would just through the party for the Chief, and if anything else terrible happened, she would just blame Shawn. It was all the psychic's idea anyway.

Juliet smiled. Okay. It would all be okay. Nothing bad would happen. Just a party. With adults. And alcohol. And Shawn.

_Oh, god._

* * *

Much to Juliet's relief, the party came together perfectly. She had asked the Chief if it was okay for her to stay out late away from her baby and had gotten a VERY positive answer. The detective had made arrangements at the nearby 'cop bar', having it close down for the party. Juliet just needed to decorate the place and the party would be all set to go.

Most everyone would be done working at eight and only those who were on-call wouldn't be able to come. Juliet smiled as she finished hanging the 'Happy Birthday' banner. She had hung streamers and laid out all sorts of cute table toppers. One thing you could never stop O'Hara from doing was going all-out on a party.

At eight fifteen people began to funnel into the bar. A table for gifts had been set up by the door. Most officers just dropped their gifts and went over to the bar. For a small fortune Juliet had managed to get an 'everyone drinks free' policy for the duration of the party. She had mostly done it to make sure people would come, though she hated having to resort to that.

Before long, Shawn and Gus made an appearance, the former holding a pineapple with a large bow on it. The partners were followed by none other than Buzz McNab. He was wearing street clothes and carrying a neatly wrapped box. He set the gift down with care and went to sit with some of his friends, skipping the alcohol. Shawn noticed this and frowned, starting to think.

"Oh, no, Shawn. That's your thinking face. I don't like it."

"Jules! This place looks great! Did you do it yourself?"

"Yeah. I figured she's our Chief, we need to make this special."

"This is quite a turnout," Gus chimed in, feeling left out. He got distracted almost as soon as he said it by the female officer he had talked to at the cat crime scene those few weeks ago. She waved and Gus hurried over, forgetting his friend completely.

"Well, then. Apparently I lost my date for this evening. Care to be his replacement?"

"Nice try, Shawn."

"Can't blame a guy for trying."

Chief Vick arrived twenty minutes later, having been late due to her husband needing to be explained the routine all over again. The man did not know a bib from a diaper. But, against all odds, she was there. Everyone yelled "Happy Birthday!" as she walked in. The Chief thanked everyone for coming, and then the party simply rolled on as before. Juliet noticed that one person she knew was absent.

"Carlton said he would come," she stated to Shawn, who had remained glued to her side.

"He will. I think he'll be walking in that door any second now. You know what? Right... three... two... one... now!"

At that moment the Head Detective entered the bar. He was still wearing his work suit, he but had managed to ditch his tie. Juliet looked over to the psychic with an impressed face. What she didn't know was that Shawn had seen Lassiter walking by the window on the far side of the bar, and had figured out how long it would take for the older man to make his way around the building.

The man traced the wall and leaned against it. He remained away from all the other officers and the bar itself. Shawn let out a frustrated breath. Both of his targets were picking this night, of all nights, to abstain from drinking.

"Carlton!" Jules called out. The Head Detective just stared at some point across the room and ignored her. His partner began to go over to him, followed by Shawn. "Hey, Carlton! Glad you could finally make it."

"Oh," the man seemed to be startled from his staring. "Hello, O'Hara."

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"Nah. I'm fine."

"Oh, come on, Lassie! Loosen up!" Shawn chipped in.

"I don't need advice from you, Spencer!"

"Woah, I think you should take a load off. What's wrong? You just seem to uptight." Juliet had a genuine tone, truly worried.

"I'm fine. Maybe I'll just go have one drink."

Shawn did a little victory dance inside. _YES! Step one, complete. Now on to McNab._

"Excuse me, Jules," Shawn said as he made his way over to the out-of-uniform uniform. Buzz was sitting at a table with several other officers, but the was staying quiet. Shawn pulled up a chair next to the man.

"Hey, Buzz."

"Hi, Shawn. How are you?"

"I'm great. Can't say the same for Lassie-face over there. He's all by himself."

"Shawn..."

"I'm just saying you could go talk to him."

"I already told you I don't want you to make a big deal or-"

"Hey. I'm not doing anything. Just making a suggestion. You could just go talk to him as a friend. Not anything weird about that."

"Well, I'm not so sure. He hates me. Besides, everyone is here and-"

"And everyone has been drinking for a good hour now. Lassie just got here and nobody is sober enough to notice or care except Juliet and I, but that is no problem for you. Just go talk to him. Worse comes to worse, pretend to be drunk and stagger off."

Shawn was amazed at how well it worked. He guessed all Buzz needed was a little push. The psychic was also surprised by how not-weird he had sounded. It was almost eerie. He wished there was a normality vaccine.

McNab approached the Head Detective cautiously. When he got closer, he could see that Lassiter was still in his work clothes, minus his tie. It worked well for him. Buzz swallowed. The man tried to divert his thoughts as he addressed the detective.

"Hey, need some company?" McNab cringed at the cheesiness. He sat down on the barstool next to the detective.

"Sure," Lassiter shifted uncomfortably. He had never seen the other man in street clothes, and it was threatening to tip his already teetering composure.

"What do you two gentlemen want?" asked the bartender, a pretty blonde woman.

"I'll have a scotch," replied McNab.

Lassiter smiled, "A man after my own heart. Me, too."

The bartender left to pour the drinks and an awkward silence fell. Finally Lassiter broke it.

"So, uh, why'd you come over here? I'm not exactly good company."

"You looked like you needed someone to talk to. You know me. I'm always ready to take one for the team. I'm sure some people worried you would venture over to sit with them if no one came to you."

"Am I really that bad?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Lassiter! That was offensive. I just kinda forgot to check what my mouth was saying with my brain and-"

"It's fine. It's good." The bartender appeared again with the drinks. Both men downed the alcohol quickly and called for another. The officers felt the need to lighten their cognitive burdens. Time passed this way for another five minutes, until a line of glasses sat before the men. They both were feeling the fuzzy feeling of tipsiness when Lassiter spoke again.

"If we are going to talk, we might as well be civil. Call me Carlton."

"Okay, uh, Carlton. I'm Buzz. It's kind of funny. How many years have we both been on the force? I just learned your first name a few weeks ago."

"Me, too! I almost didn't believe O'Hara when she told me."

"Yeah, that happens a lot."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I-"

"It's fine. Like you said, it's good."

"Alcohol makes me honest. Painfully so sometimes."

"Me, too! It is like a cheap truth serum or something! I normally try to refrain from drinking heavily when other people are around. Or at least people I know."

"At least I black out and don't remember the worst of it."

"Wow, we are one in the same, man."

Carlton laughed, and Buzz followed suit. The conversation turned to other things as the men got to know each other. The Head Detective's rude and demeaning behavior was forgotten as the night wore on. Both men were having a great time, drinking steadily, until they realized that the bar was nearly empty. The only other party guests were Shawn, Gus, and Juliet, who were all taking down the various decorations.

"It'sgettingkindalatemaybeweshouldheadhome,"Lassiter slurred.

"YeahbutIdon'tthinkIcandrivetomyhouse," McNab replied, equally smashed.

"YoucanstaystmineIlivereallyclose."

"Kay."

The two police officers staggered out of the bar. Shawn ditched Gus and Juliet to follow behind the pair. The men managed to find their way to Lassiter's house, where the man began the tremendous task of unlocking the door.

"You'rereallypretty,"Buzz mumbled under his breath.

"Huh?" questioned the detective.

"You're. Re-Really. Pre-Handso-ohwhatevertohellwiththis!"

The officer lurched forward and grabbed the sides of Carlton's face, placing his lips to his. The other man jerked in surprise, but began to kiss back in earnest. The door was opened in between passionate kisses, both men finally stumbling through, flushed. They resumed their activity beyond the threshold, but that was out of Shawn's view. He had snapped a picture on his phone to show Juliet.

The psychic fully intended to burn the phone containing the picture at the first possible moment. Lassiter and McNab as a couple was easy enough to accept in concept, but seeing Lassie actually... It was just a little more than Shawn had wanted to see. He couldn't understand quite what Buzz saw in the man, but at least Shawn's plan was complete and his case solved.

Buzz and McNab had gone home together.

Juliet almost fainted when she saw the picture.

Gus started a lecture on infringing upon people's privacy.

Shawn used his father's grill as a cellphone bonfire.

It was a good night.

* * *

"Hey, Lassie-face! How are you?" Shawn asked, grinning evilly.

"What's it to you, Spencer. You know what? Don't answer that. I'm working and hungover."

"How was your night after the party?"

"Ugh, fine. I'll answer just to get you to leave me alone. I went home and passed out. End of story."

"That's it?"

"Yeah. You can't do much more when you're blackout drunk."

"Ohh..."

Shawn felt panic rising in his throat. Was he all the way back to square one? Gus wasn't around to help today, he and been adamant about needing to work at his real job. The psychic crossed over to the desk of one Buzz McNab.

"Hey, Nabby! Have a good time last night?"

"Actually, yeah. Your advice to talk to Lassiter as a friend was great. Of course I blacked out in the middle of our conversation, but I think it went well."

"I saw the two of you head out together."

"Yeah, I guess we did. I woke up this morning on Lassiter's living room floor next to the guy. I guess we both didn't make it far from the door. I think Lassiter was letting me crash at his place since I definitely couldn't drive to my apartment. He took me by the bar this morning to get my car and everything. I think it is all great. No weirdness. I'm fine with the friend thing, Shawn. Please don't mess this up for me."

Shawn just walked away without replying. He had not thought of the possibility of them both blacking out and forgetting. How could he have been so stupid. Besides, when has a lasting and meaningful relationship ever began when both parties were plastered. Stupid! They had passed out the moment they made it through the door! Just wait until Gus heard this, or Juliet. The scoldings would never stop.

Square one was a bitch.


	6. FINALLY!

"Shawn, I told you that was a stupid plan."

"Yeah, I know. I just, AGH! How can it be that hard to get two people together? Cupid must hate his job."

"Shawn, maybe you should just let this be. Maybe get a real case?"

"No! I am not stopping until I see this through! The time for subtlety is over. Lassie is going to fall in love if I have to kill him!"

"Shawn. Shawn! SHAWN! Come back! SHAWN!"

The psychic was already out of the office. Gus began to panic. His best friend thought he had been subtle? Lord knows what not-subtle looked like to the man. Gus picked up his cell phone and dialed a certain female detective.

"Juliet, it's Gus. We have a problem."

"What? What's wrong?"

"You know how Shawn colossally messed up?"

"Yeah, he talked to me about it. I gave him the standard 'You're an idiot; don't meddle' speech."

"Well Shawn just marched out of the office yelling that he was through with subtlety."

"Oh, God. We are in so much trouble. Who is he after?"

"I think Lassiter."

"I'll get him out of the station. I have no idea what I'll say to him."

"Just say anything to get him out of there."

* * *

The door into the main Psych office came crashing in. Lassiter crossed the threshold with his gun raised, ready to fire. His eyes landed on a very startled Gus crouching behind the desk, holding a baseball bat. The gun was holstered.

"O'Hara!"

"I'm so sorry I lied, Carlton, but you'll be so glad when you hear why."

"Guster, what is going on?"

"Shawn, uh, has been trying to get you to get together with someone he deems your crush. He was going to make a bold move at the station just now, but I think we got to you in time."

"What? Spencer has been trying to hook me up? With who? I'm gonnna kill him."

"It's fine, Carlton," Juliet soothed. "It's actually kind of funny. He was trying to set you up with McNab."

The Head Detective straightened and diverted his eyes. That idiot psychic KNEW. How could he have figured that out? And he had told his partner and the detective's. This was very not good.

"Uh, Carlton? Everything all right?" O'Hara asked, concerned.

"Who else knows?" questioned back her partner, panicking.

"No, Lassiter, you don't really-"

"Alright fine, I admit it. I like McNab. A little. It's nothing, but if you tell anyone, I WILL shoot you."

"So Shawn was actually right this whole time?" Gus was awed.

"But, Carlton, your wife?"

"Soon-to-be ex-wife. So I'm bisexual, have a problem?" The question was said as though it was a threat. Gus and Juliet both shook their heads no with urgency. In that same instant, the door to the back most portion of the office was thrown open by an overzealous psychic detective.

Lassiter's heart nearly stopped in his chest when an uniformed Officer McNab followed in behind Spencer. The two men met eyes and the Head Detective's face started turning a shade of red that would have made any tomato jealous.

"Shawn! How did-"

"How did I know all of you were here? Gus, you really should know me better. I knew you would call Jules when you thought I was off to find Lassie, so I had time to find McNab and have him come by here with me. I arrived with my tall friend just in time to hear Lassie admit his feelings," Shawn jumped to stand on top of the desk. "This means that shy and scared of rejection Buzz knows for certain that the tough and scared of chick flick moments Carlton reciprocates his feelings. This is all coupled by the fact that I have photographic evidence that you to have-have- Alright I can't say it. Anyway, I would show you this proof had I not burned it. You will just have to take my word for it. You two are attracted to one another and are now free to act on this attraction and I just solved my case and I am SO good!" Shawn jumped from the desk in a final grand gesture.

"Shawn! I asked you not to interfere with my love life!" Buzz was looking sideways at the still conspicuously silent Lassiter.

"I know, but it's all better now!"

"Shawn, if he asked you to not meddle than you shouldn't have."

"But, GUS-"

"Don't forget it was Lassiter's business, too! He's my partner and I-"

"Guys, can I be alone with McNab for a second?"

All conversation ceased. All eyes were on the detective as he straightened his tie and assumed his nobody-should-say-no-or-else face. Shawn and Gus fled the scene, while Juliet followed more slowly, giving her partner a strange but knowing look as she closed the door behind her. The two men, Lassiter and McNab, were the only ones left in the office.

"So..." began McNab awkwardly.

"So," Lassiter stated. The men stood together in uncomfortable silence. Finally, the younger of the two broke it.

"Do you really, uh, you know..."

"Yeah. I do. For a while."

"You know, I do, too."

"Like me?"

"Yeah, Lassiter. I like you. A lot."

"Please call me Carlton."

"Buzz. Oh, deja vu."

Both men laughed. The sounded puttered out, and the silence stretched with tension.

"Well, Buzz, we have both finally found out we like each other. I guess miracles do happen."

"I thought you hated me."

"I just didn't know how to vent these feelings. I couldn't ever stop thinking about you or wanting..."

"What?"

"To kiss you."

A smile lit up the officer's face, "Well, detective, you don't have to wonder about it anymore. I want to kiss you, too."

With that, the men closed the distance between them. The kiss was soft and intense at the same time. Familiar but brand new. The passion deepened was the too law men lost themselves in the feeling. Relief passed through both of them. No more worrying or stress. They were together.

The kiss was broken for much needed air. The men were both breathing heavily and grinning like loons. The expression was very new to Carlton, and he thought he could get used to it.

"Buzz, would you like to go out to dinner with me?"

"Yes, Carlton. That would be great. But, I think we have to finish our workday first."

"Oh, right, that."

Shawn watched as McNab left the Psych back office, followed by Lassiter. The psychic was smug when he saw that Lassie's normally tidy hair was rather ruffled. Gus just shook his head in disbelief as O'Hara left with her partner. McNab stopped at the outermost door.

"Thanks, Shawn."

"No problem, Nabby."

* * *

"Hey, Jules!"

"Hi, Shawn. What are you doing here? I just left your office."

"I was just curious about something. My psychic powers could not devine what exactly you told Lassie to get him to come and bust in my door."

"I told him I thought you had a meth lab in the back room."

"No, really. What did you tell him?"

"I'm not kidding. He thought he would finally be able to arrest you. Now I guess he owes you one."

"Oh."

* * *

**Next chapter is the last. I like the number 7. It's lucky, and for my first ****fic, that seems like a good thing. I was planning to make this short and to the point.**


	7. Love, Canon, and Tying Up Loose Ends

_Three months later..._

* * *

"O'Hara, in my office," demanded Chief Vick. The young detective got up from her desk without a word, just throwing a confused glance at her equally befuddled partner. Once she had entered the office, Vick was in her personal space, seeming frantic.

"O'Hara, I thinking I'm going crazy."

"Chief..."

"There haven't been any formal complaints against Detective Lassiter in months. Or normal complaints for that matter. I got a call today from a store clerk downtown that wanted to commend Lassiter for his good work catching a thief. He said the detective had been civil and polite the entire investigation. That was the last straw. I think I'm nuts," the woman became more and more hysterical as she spoke. She crossed the room to sit at the desk.

"Chief, you're not crazy."

"How would you know? I wanted to ask you if you thought Lassiter or I needed a psych eval."

"Neither. I know why Carlton has been in such a good mood."

"Why?"

"He, uh, well, um... He's in a new relationship. We don't really talk about it, but I get the feeling that it is going very well."

"Really. Lassiter in a good relationship?"

"Yep. It surprised us all."

"Who?"

"I shouldn't say. It's private and they're on the force."

"Well, I'll ignore that last bit. I'm happy for him. At least that means I am not a loon."

* * *

"Hey, Dad!"

"Shawn! Finally! Why haven't you been answering your calls?"

"I didn't have a phone, Dad. It got destroyed on a case."

"Well, what exactly happened to it?"

"I burned it."

"..."

"Dad?"

"Why?"

"It had a picture I'm not proud of on it."

"Haven't you heard of a delete button?"

"Believe me, Dad. It needed to be burned."

* * *

Gus sat at the desk in the Psych main office typing into his laptop. His partner came through the front door looking happy.

"How's it going, Gus?"

"Fine. I'm writing up an expense report for our last client. What's got you in a good mood?"

"I got a new phone. And the chick at the Best Buy that sold it to me put her number in it."

"Figures."

"Hey, don't worry, man. If you're lonely, I could so set your up with someone-"

"Don't you dare touch my love life, Shawn. Not with a ten foot pole!"

"What about a four foot pole, or a twelve, or a-"

"SHAWN!"

* * *

McNab was smiling at his desk. He kept glancing across the room, looking at his- his boyfriend. The thought was so new and amazing it sent shivers down his spine. Lassiter had been just as amazing to date as he had imagined. He was funny when he wanted to be, and much kinder than most people would think.

When it finally came time to be off work, Buzz was elated. He went and changed into some street cloths and met Carlton outside the precinct doors. They had a date tonight, and the Head Detective was driving them.

"Hey, Carlton!" Buzz said with enthusiasm. Lassiter smiled back.

"Hey, Buzz," the older man still had his work cloths and work demeanor on, but the younger of the two knew that it just took a while to wear off after a long day. The smile though, that was something that only McNab could get Lassiter to do, and that meant the world to the other.

The two walked in companionable silence to the detective's car. They climbed in, with Lassiter driving, and McNab linked their hands over the center console. Neither man was willing to admit there was a chink in their macho exteriors, but there was. Hand holding was one of their favorite things, besides kissing, which was ALL they had done. Carlton was nothing if not old fashioned.

It turns out that the detective was taking the other to have dinner at his own house. He pulled up into the driveway, but stopped Buzz when he made a move to get out of the car. The older man looked down at their entwined fingers.

"Buzz, I have to tell you something. I like you, but more than that, I REALLY like you. I am not very good with all this mushy relationship crap, but I enjoy going through it with you. I was attracted to you since a long while back, but I realized after we started going out that I wanted more than that. I want a future that won't end with a nasty split up, not again. I really think we could work. It's only been three months, to the very day, but I am willing to fight to make this, make us, work."

"I want that, too."

"Good. I was really hoping you did. But, I also have something else to say."

"What? Anything."

"I said I have been attracted to you, and that is so true. I would look at you from my desk, stare more like, and get flustered to the point of distraction. Just ask O'Hara. She thought I was having staring contests with that clock. But it was always you. You are the most handsome human being I have ever had the pleasure to meet, both inside and out. I do not deserve you in the slightest, and I am so thankful that you would be willing to spend even the smallest amount of time with me. I want to be able to experience that time in every way. I want to spend every moment with you. That is why I am asking. Would you please be the first thing I see tomorrow morning, laying next to me in my bed?"

Buzz McNab did not cry. He would deny it if you ever accused him.

"That is the most amazing come on I have ever heard. Carlton Lassiter, you are the greatest man I have ever met."

With that, the two kissed. Eventually they made it into the house, and things progressed. The night was wonderful, and Buzz would go as far as saying it was the best night of his life. The next morning, as he lay beside the man of his dreams, the young officer had a thought.

_I am in love with the sweetest man alive._

_I guess my mom was right when she said you could tell a lot about a man from his coffee._

* * *

"Shawn, what are we doing outside Lassiter's house at five in the morning?"

"This is when Lassie leaves to go get his coffee on desk duty days."

"Okay, but why are we here?"

"I just want to check on something."

Shawn pulled out his binoculars to better see the house across the street. After a few minutes, the psychic saw the front door open and a very tired looking Lassiter come walking out. Shawn held his breath. Just as he had expected, a boxers-only wearing McNab ran out to catch the detective. The younger officer handed Lassie a thermos probably filled with coffee and went back inside, but not without stealing a peck on the lips. It was Buzz McNab's day off.

"Gus! Gus! This is great!"

"What? We knew they were going out."

"Yeah, but you know what this means. They finally, you know-"

"I do not need that mental picture, Shawn."

"But this is it! It is the final wall!"

"Wall between what?"

"The ship and surviving canon, Gus! The ship is officially surviving canon!"

"I am canceling our internet."

* * *

**If you have ever loved anything written by Steven Moffat, you understand that last bit. Anyway, done with my first fanfic! I hope there were not too many mistakes or OOC-ness. Thank you moondragon23, storiesbyAbby, and redwolfclaw for reviewing. And to ****dhh, even though I know you will probably not read this, I did not even know you could add brackets. I am NEW. I have changed this for future readers. I am sorry to anyone else that felt like they were mislead. Thank you to all those who have read this for your kindness, and thank you to all those who will read this in the future. For the most part, I feel very welcomed by this community.**


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